I wish somebody would have talked to me about this while I was growing up. It would have saved a lot of heartache and wasted time. But since no one did, I feel obligated to pass this knowledge down to the coming generations. I hope that this will guide them into making decisions when it comes to the appropriateness of dating or having a relationship.
There is a big difference between dating and having a relationship with someone. First of all, let me state that just because you find someone interesting does not necessarily mean it is a crush or love. It could be just the human curiosity of wanting to know more about something that intrigues you. Get to know them on a friendship level first before making a decision to date them. Above all, guard your heart. Despite what others may say, the heart can be very deceiving.
In my life I have meet people who have never dated and where happy only having friends with the opposite sex. Their reason being was to wait on the one person specially designed for them. They did not want to fall into grievances and drama that the world gives so easily, but to hold fast to the faith of a love bounded and created by God. And they knew when that person comes, because they would have the same values as themselves. They surround themselves with people who have the same morals and use their goals to keep their minds occupied.
Not all people are strong enough to be alone and be content while waiting years for that special someone. This is where dating comes in. It is here that one will use the opportunity to get to know someone better. Treat dating as if you where going to a place with a friend. For a first date, it is wise to meet at a coffee shop or someplace public, but not dinner. This way if things start going south, it will be easier to escape the situation and you will have your own way home.
Dating is suppose to be used with no strings attached, no commitments, just two people meeting and if you like them enough, go back for a second date. Relationships, going steady, being boyfriend/girlfriend, is where it gets complicated. In many parts of the world, when two people have that relationship it means they have picked their spouse for life. However, this is not so much in America any more.
A relationship is a commitment to the person you are in a relationship with. It is here that love is introduced, and where most people get their heart broke. Actually, a person should always ask themselves if they love the other or if the other loves them before they get into a committed relationship. The best definition of love that has ever been given to man and has stood against scrutiny for about two thousand years is this:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Perhaps this is why many save committed relationships for a potential future spouse. In a relationship, there are admittance of being wrong and apologizing for those wrongs. In a relationship, there is no room for control, only trust. In a relationship, you want to build your life with a person who follows the above.
If you are a young adult, please be selfish right now. Get your career goals going and know what you want in life. For fun, date someone with no strings attached so you can be free from worry and drama over the opposite sex. And when you find the one that makes your heart stop, only then reread this verse before choosing to get in a relationship with them.
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